Elephant and Other Bad Jokes

Christopher and I, and especially me, enjoy telling bad jokes, and silly puns.
Suzanne either pretends or really is annoyed by this. (Sometimes I almost believe her)

The problem is Christopher and I have a limited repretiore, (is this really the way to spell the word I am looking for? I tried about 6 different spellings before I got spellcheck to throw a “French-looking” word at me) mostly on the spot bad puns and a series of elephant jokes, all of the following are due to my old ex friend Dennis Lay,
excepting the one about butter, which, to her discredit, was contributed by Suzanne!

Elephant Jokes:

Why did the elephant wear his green tennis shoes?
to hide in the grass

Why did the elephant wear his red tennis shoes?
to hide in the cherry trees

Why did the elephant wear his green tennis shoes?
his green and red ones were in the washing machine

Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
to keep from getting his tennis shoes wet

How do you make an elephant float?
two scoops of elephant, one scoop of ice cream

What did Adam say when the elephants charged?
here come the grapes (Adam was colorblind)

How did Adam get killed?
picking cherries

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
look for tracks in the butter (per suzanne)

The most common pun joke, is a variation on:

(caused by actually seeing a policeman writing a citation
of someone in an IHOP parking lot)

Why did the policeman go to IHOP?
maybe he needed to make an “arrestaurant”

If you have any bad jokes to contribute to the cause, especailly elephant jokes,
we all, well Suzanne possibly excepted, we be much obliged.

so as an old anti litter campaign said:

“Pitch in”


About anthonyuplandpoetwatkins

https://www.goodreads.com/AnthonyUplandpoetWatkins born in Jackson, The United States August 04, 1959 gender male website http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorI... genre Poetry, Historical Fiction influences James M. Lancaster, Brenda Black White, Gertrude Stein, William Carlos Williams, and Al Filreis member since March 2011 About this author edit data As one of the most public lives ever lived by a private citizen, there is little about me that isn't already available at Facebook or Shelfari and countless other places. Poet, writer, construction worker, salesman, truck driver, climber into the attics of total strangers, father and husband, and all around one of the luckiest men on the planet. My luck continued with a win in the June Goodreads Newsletter Contest! What an honor! http://anthonyuplandpoetwatkins.wordp... Additional Influences: Bob Dylan, William Faulkner, Barbara Kingsolver, Gloria Naylor, Eudora Welty
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2 Responses to Elephant and Other Bad Jokes

  1. Steve says:

    I was playing the piano in a bar and this elephant walked in and started crying his heart out. I said “Do you recognise the tune?” He said “No, I recognise the ivory”

    Courtesy of Tim Vine

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