Cursing in Circles

Revised

Curse in circles

square shaped god

judges my cursing

on corners bad ju-ju.

 

Sun people enough

rain people take,

 

leave me cursing,

more, more, more

none remains.

 

 

Original

I curse in circles

Because god is a square shaped thing

And cursing in the four corners is bad ju-ju

Where the sun people meet

And say there is enough for everyone,

 

But the cold gray rainy people

Come and take and say, “more.”

 

And the chocolate kisses

Are wrapped in shiny foil

Which gets in my teeth

And no matter the chocolate

All I taste is metal.

 

The number of sin is 50

And the cold people take the bean and sin

Back and return it with kisses.

 

Leaving me to curse in circles

Like my dog not chasing her tail

But looking for exactly the right spot

On my couch.

 

There is enough for everyone

More, more, more

Until there is none left.

 

12

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About anthonyuplandpoetwatkins

https://www.goodreads.com/AnthonyUplandpoetWatkins born in Jackson, The United States August 04, 1959 gender male website http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorI... genre Poetry, Historical Fiction influences James M. Lancaster, Brenda Black White, Gertrude Stein, William Carlos Williams, and Al Filreis member since March 2011 About this author edit data As one of the most public lives ever lived by a private citizen, there is little about me that isn't already available at Facebook or Shelfari and countless other places. Poet, writer, construction worker, salesman, truck driver, climber into the attics of total strangers, father and husband, and all around one of the luckiest men on the planet. My luck continued with a win in the June Goodreads Newsletter Contest! What an honor! http://anthonyuplandpoetwatkins.wordp... Additional Influences: Bob Dylan, William Faulkner, Barbara Kingsolver, Gloria Naylor, Eudora Welty
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4 Responses to Cursing in Circles

  1. Sylvia Vaughn says:

    I prefer the original, if you’re taking a vote. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Evan Girodet says:

    I liked the original better. The revision felt like you were reaching for haiku or Tanja without the structure. Don’t get me wrong, both were compelling, but if you are going to limit yourself on words, leave the ones that pack the most punch…

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